Yesterday was a day filled with many rich emotional, psychological, and physical experiences.

Guilt and liberation

It was my last day at ePublishing. It was my first 100% remote position, and I loved it. I learned invaluable lessons about personal time and workload management, about the comparative valuation of human capital to client revenue, and about the importance of communication and support in distributed team environments. I was able to internalize these ideas for the first time, and now I believe I have the confidence and perspective I've needed to step into a management role. Like every company, they had their own challenges, but the team there was very good, and I regret leaving them. I felt valued and valuable, and I have the utmost faith that they have the people and the will to grow and improve in the right ways to keep the company successful. At the same time, my role there was limited to development, and I was chomping at the bit to be involved with design and UI decisions. The recent workload was quite daunting and burnout was imminent for many on the team. The prospect of returning to more reasonable hours while working on the UI side is exciting, but I have strong sense of responsibility regarding the projects and companies I work for, so I always feel guilty for leaving.

Painful cold

It was 1 degree most of the day, and frost has formed on the inside of our windows. Heidi and I didn't spend a lot of time outside, but had to walk a few blocks from our car to a restaurant for dinner—Friday night and all. It was 0 by then, or -0 as the bank signs said, but fortunately not that windy. Still, the cold instantly froze any moisture in the air, and it was stinging to breath. Within half a block, the skin on my face was stiff and aching. I really enjoy it here, but this will take some getting used to.

The pangs of pregnancy

Heidi is about 20weeks pregnant right now, and only recently was the news of her pregnancy made public. Not until we visited friends and family in Portland a couple weeks ago did most learn about it. It's of course very exciting for us, and certainly more than a little surreal, but that much I've been dealing with for a while. Some very dear friends of ours have been trying to get pregnant for some time with little success. The wife is one of Heidi's closest friends, so when she learned of Heidi's state, it was very difficult to handle. She happens to be one of the strongest people I know, so recognizing the impact the news had on her was humbling. I talked to her on the phone yesterday and in the process, got a glimpse of both the magnitude of her experience as well as the fortitude of her character. She really is an amazing person.

Good food

In honor of my last day, Heidi and I went out to a wonderful Indian restaurant. I love Indian food, but it tends to be a bit heavy for Heidi's taste, so every time is a special occasion indeed. It's a popular place, and it being Friday night didn't shorten the wait to get in. We were quite hungry by the time we were seated. At this point, I wanted some of everything on the menu, but I knew I could only eat so much. Nonetheless, we ordered three entrees, some rice, and some naan, and planned for plenty of leftovers. Fine by me. The inevitable point arrived where I just didn't have room for more. But the food was so good and it was such a rare opportunity that I experienced a sort of panic. My body was clearly telling me that I was already overdue to pack up and go home, but my brain direly wanted more because it was so pleasurable. I look forward to the leftovers.